I’ve been asked about what meditation technique I use several times, and I find it really difficult to answer to that. I think meditation is something very personal, everyone should find their own technique. I started meditating at a very young age, but it became so deep that it was unpleasant. It became unpleasant because I had unresolved traumas, and meditation by itself doesn’t fix traumas. Meditation is a powerful tool that helps us to accomplish lots of things, but it is a tool not a remedy. That was the reason it became unpleasant for me, I needed more than just meditation. When I meditate I can experience the same as I experience in one of my NDE, there have been times when I couldn’t come back from my meditative state. Like in sleep paralysis, my body wouldn’t react. But I was not even able to open my eyes. It actually required a lot of effort to “come back”. So it became very unpleasant. Now that I have mapped my traumas and faced them instead of denying them, I am able to enjoy meditating again.
I meditate in a lot of different ways, but the one I like the most is actually the one I feared the most.
I find really difficult to explain my technique with words, I’ll try to make it as clear as I can. I do also feel like I’m going to explain obvious things, but sometimes the obvious is overseen. I know how overwhelming and frustrating it can be when you get directions about how to meditate, so I will write it in two different posts. Not because it’s a two-steps meditation technique but because the first step can be done without actually meditating. For me this first step is imprescindible to achieve my deep meditative state, but remember that meditation is something very personal and what works for me doesn’t necessarily work for you.
So let’s start with the first step, the pre-meditative state. The objective with this step is to start detaching from your body. It may sound difficult and mystical, but it is a profound relaxation state. It is really important that you are in a place that feels safe for you, preferably in your bedroom. Start by having the right temperature in the room, for this step I recommend you to lie down naked in your bed. Don’t cover yourself, the less contact your body is with other objects the better. The same with your body parts, your arms shouldn’t touch your torso and your legs should be a couple centimetres apart from each other. Open your hands and feel what is most comfortable for you, if palms facing down or up. Once you lie comfortable the next step is to relax your body.
Before you start this step, I recommend you to put the tip of your tongue on your hard palate just behind your central incisors. Don’t try to relax your body all at once, this kind of relaxation needs focus. It may sound contradictory, but you need to feel every inch of your body and be aware of how it feels to be in contact with it before you can start relaxing and detaching. Start by focusing on your toes, one foot at a time. Let then go to sleep, take your time and feel how you lose contact with your toes. Then do the same with the rest of your foot, your leg and the same with the other foot and leg. You should feel like your extremities get anaesthetised, feel the difference between the parts of your body that are already sleep and those that aren’t.
When your extremities are completely relaxed and sleep, do the same with your torso. You should now only be in contact with your head. As you relax every muscle on your head, you’ll feel that the tip of your tongue ain’t no longer in contact with your hard palate. At this point all your body should be in such deep relaxation that your only focus is on your thoughts, you should feel completely detached from your body.
You may have noticed that I haven’t said anything about breathing yet. Breathing is very important, but what’s more important is that you don’t need to focus on breathing at all. So if you feel like you need to focus too much on your breathing while you try to get into this pre-meditative state, I recommend you to start by exercising your breathing. During this step you should only focus in how you detach from your body until you are in a conscious sleep. When you achieve to be consciously sleeping you’ll be ready for the next step of my meditation technique.
This kind of relaxation may require a lot of practice and you should find the right moment to practice it. I don’t recommend to practice it if you have something else to do in the following three or four hours. I don’t recommend to do it before you go to sleep neither. It may sound like a good idea, but what you are trying to achieve is to be conscious while your body sleeps, that’s not the same as sleeping. So if you practice it before bedtime, you can negatively affect your sleep. You should believe me on that, I have experience 😉
Remember that this is the first step of my meditation technique and that my technique may not be adequate for you. What works for me may not work for you. Don’t ever try to achieve what other people achieve, find your own meditation technique. I am sharing my method because I’ve been asked about it and I recently realised that I have actually more experience and are able to meditate much deeper than a lot of people getting paid for teaching meditation. There’s even people getting paid for having meditation groups where a lot of completely different individuals try to achieve what a guru says. I don’t like that kind of meditation, it feels uncomfortable and false. If you find my method useful, then use it. If you wonder about anything ask me and I’ll try to answer as clearly as I can. If you only find a part of my method useful, then make it your and keep exploring until you find your own. My method has no rigid rules and I do self adapt it to my needs. So I do sometimes use whale songs or music. But if you really want to try my method I recommend you to start without sounds or smells distracting your focus.
I’d love to hear about your experiences when exercising this first step. It will also help me improve this post if needed 🙂
Ready for the step 2?