One year after

Although my therapy started in august 2017, when I first entered into rehab because of my chronic pains, it wasn’t until November last year that I started with my actual treatment. One year of intense hard work. So how is it going? Does it work? Am I better?
I am definitively doing much better, no doubt about that. I now know where my pains came from. I haven’t taken painkillers for months. I don’t need to inject B12 vitamin every month anymore. I haven’t had migraines in a year. I haven’t had sleep paralysis in months. I can go kayaking. I can sleep in the forest whenever I want, even a whole week in the polar artic circle. And much more. So yes, it’s working.
Am I done with my treatment? No, I am not. I do have a long way ahead before I am done with my treatment. And to be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever be done with it. But that’s not a bad thing, I see my recovery as something that I actively need to work on for the rest of my life. Thriving, for me, requires awareness and wisely focusing my energy into who I really am. In an ideal environment I would not need to worry about developing my abilities, nobody should ever worry about developing their own abilities. But that environment doesn’t exist, at least not yet, not for me. So I will have to actively work so my doesn’t take control of my choices again. I need to actively work to improve my environment as much as I can.
After a year of holistic approach I see huge improvements. I don’t just do as I’m said to do, I am active in my recovery. Very active. Because I don’t want to give up on myself.
My therapies are evolving as I evolve, so I don’t need the same therapies for the rest of my life. I’m learning to treat myself when I need it and the way I need it. I can’t lower my guard, but I don’t need to be on hyper-vigilance all the time anymore because I understand where my reactions come from.

Some may think that I focus too much on my negative experiences and thoughts, maybe. But giving all my experiences and thoughts the same value works for me, it allows me to keep on developing my abilities and improving my health. My health has improved more in a year than in decades.

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